Wayne’s Words of Wisdom – The 65 Best Quotes From Letterkenny’s Wayne

Wayne from Letterkenny standing with his hands on his hips wearing a blue shirt

How’re Ya Now?

Wayne from Letterkenny is an iconic TV character portrayed brilliantly by the show’s creator Jared Kelso. His unique mixture of small-town charm and no-nonsense demeanor produces some of the most hilarious and memorable quotes and sayings. With his dry, deadpan delivery and razor-sharp wit, he truly is one of a kind! So, if you’re a Letterkenny fan or just someone who appreciates good humor and over-the-top one-liners, read on and enjoy this collection of the best Wayne from Letterkenny quotes.

Who is Wayne From Letterkenny?

Wayne is the definition of a straight-shooting, hard-working, small-town guy. He’s a figure of stoic strength, sturdy masculinity, and dry wit that endears him to the audience and sets the tone for the show.

Wayne is the heart and soul of Letterkenny, often serving as the anchor around which the rest of the madness in the town unfolds. His character provides a stable point of view amid the eccentricities of the rural community, resulting in many hilariously memorable quotes and sayings.

Here are some quotes from Wayne that sum up his old-school values, vigorous work ethic, and sense of small-town community living.

“If a friend asks for help, you help them.”

“Do what you love, and you’ll never work a day in your life.”

“If you’re not ten minutes early, you’re late.”

“If you can be one thing, be efficient.”

“More hands means less work.”

“If all else fails, it’s never too late to drive truck.”

“It’s a good day for hay” – meaning it’s nice out, get to work.

“Hard no.” This is Wayne’s iconic way of saying ‘no,’ succinct and unarguable. His straightforward approach to life and conversation is part of what makes his character so relatable and compelling.

Letterkenny’s Wayne Quotes About Love & Relationships

Beneath his hard exterior and dry wit, there’s a man who has his own unique perspective on love and relationships. Much like his character, Wayne’s quotes about love are honest, straightforward, and often laced with his signature rustic humor. They provide insight into his pragmatic approach towards love, yet, in their own subtle way, often hint at the soft side of this tough guy.

“Every woman knows that the way to a man’s heart is not through his zipper, it’s through his stomach.”

“You naturally care for companionship, but I guess there’s a lot worse things than playing a little one-man couch hockey in the dark.”

“I’m a lover, not a fighter, but I’m also a fighter, so don’t get any ideas.”

“You’re pretty sweet on your new gal, but if she forgets to close the third door of your truck before the passenger door one more time, it’s f**kin over.”

“You stopped toe curlin’ in the hot tub ‘cause you heard sperms stay alive in there, and you’ve seen Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles enough times to know how that story ends.” – toe curlin’ means to have sex.

“You heard people saying the Dos Equis guy is supposed to be the most interesting man on Earth, but the most interesting woman for sure goes to the Asian Zamboni driver who just beat you at horseshoes and loves Insane Clown Posse.”

“I want to give back to the community by helping people find love.”

Wayne’s Fighting Quotes

Wayne from Letterkenny punching someone, wayne has the best quotes about life and fighting

Wayne and the good folks of Letterkenny have never been known to turn down a good old-fashioned scrap, especially when honor is on the line! The only thing quicker than Wayne’s wit is his fists! Wayne is the toughest guy in Letterkenny; many have challenged his title, and they have all failed. Wayne knows something about throwing haymakers (punches) and getting into donnybrooks (fights); after all, he’s the best fighter in Letterkenny; here are some of the best Wayne quotes about fighting. 

“You hang a set of steel testicles off the back of your truck cuz even a UFC fighter would file that under “Do not f**k with.”

“Maybe if you’ve been in a real fight, you might not be so keen for another.”

“You got called a sh*thead at go-karts for bumping another driver and had to fight the guy ‘cause you were on a first date.”

“OK Dary… Dary OK”

“Better to be lookin’ at it than lookin’ for it.”

“You’d best be preparin’ for a Donnybrook if you think I’m going to that super soft birthday party of yours.”

“You got something to say, you say it to his face. Bad gas travels fast in this small town, you don’t want him hearin’ that from somebody else, it’s dishonorable.” – Bad gas means gossip.

“It’s a hard life picking stones and pulin’ teats, but as sure as God’s got sandals, it beats fightin’ dudes with treasure trails.”

If there’s any clip that sums up Letterkenny’s quick-witted banter and masterful wordplay, it’s the opening to Season 2. Wayne and Dary’s A to Zs on fighting.

“You got up, gathered your goods, guts and gonads, got after the goofy goon, gave glory a good go.”

“Superb. You socked the sucker. Slammed the sally. Secured the scuffle by successfully out-scrapping the skirt.”

WARNING: This video contains explicit language.  NSFW

Quotes About Bodily Functions

Wayne and the other Letterkenny characters aren’t afraid to tackle awkward topics.  Their cheeky humor cuts through taboos and discomfort with an unexpected lightness and comedic punch. Be it a sneaky fart joke or a casual mention of everyday bodily processes, these quotes reflect the series’ unpretentious, down-to-earth humor. They make us laugh, grimace, and everything in between, but above all, they keep us hooked with their straightforward, no-nonsense delivery. 

“You shouldn’t fart in front of girls.”

“It’s always ok to fart when you’re alone, except when you’re in elevators. That’s uncouth.”

“You had a party, and there was no pee around the toilet, after which most certainly means your friends piss sitting down.”

“Here’s a tip, don’t fart in a spacesuit.”

“Well, there’s nothing better than a fart. Except kids falling off bikes, maybe. F**k, I could watch kids falling off bikes all day. I don’t give a f**k about your kids.”

“You had your first prostate exam the other day, which is no picnic, but even that’s better than being asked if you’re “pissy.”

Quotes About Life in Letterkenny from Wayne

Beyond his stoic exterior and fearsome fists, Wayne knows a thing or two; he’s not old but is wise beyond his years. His small-town upbringing and sense of community are engrained in him, and it shows through his verbal bouquet of life lessons. Here are some of the best Wayne from Letterkenny quotes on life.

“A first impression is a lasting one.”

“You don’t f**k with tradition.”

“The world needs less Facebook and more face-to-face.”

“The whole world’s if’s and but’s at the moment. But if if’s and but’s were candy and nuts, you’d have nuts where your butts were before.”

“If you stand for nothing, you’ll fall for anything.”

“You know two things for damn sure; life is a highway, and Twitter is a cult.”

“If you don’t understand where you came from, you don’t understand where you are.”

“I should make sure my own backyard is clean before throwing junk in someone else’s.”

“I suppose as long as everyone’s having a good time, there ain’t no reason to be a poopy pants.”

“You stopped going to church, cause like, well, it’s just a wee bit too hot in there, but you can pray for a new Shania Twain album from home.”

“That’s a Texas-sized 10-4” – Wayne’s affirmative catchphrase, borrowed from CB radio lingo, demonstrates his laid-back attitude. This cool-as-a-cucumber response often lightens up the tense moments in the series.

Animal Quotes

A close up of Wayne from Letterkenny with a dog in his lap.

If there’s one thing that gets Wayne from Letterkenny fired up, it’s disrespect toward animals, especially dogs. These Letterkenny animal quotes symbolize the series’ rural setting and provide plenty of comic relief. They also serve as a charming reminder of the tight-knit community’s close ties to nature and the rural lifestyle.

“There’s a special place in heaven for animal lovers.”

“You’re not supposed to give dogs human names.”

“You wish there was a pied piper for possums. But there isn’t, so you’re just gonna have to keep picking ‘em off with a .22.”- well, maybe Wayne doesn’t love all animals.

“Does a duck with a boner drag weeds?”

“Hockey players would grab a monkey by the t*t if they could.”

“If you have a problem with the majestic Canadian Gooses, then you have a problem with me, and I suggest you let that one marinate.” – This quote perfectly captures Wayne’s intense Canadian patriotism and attachment to his rural roots.

Cooking With Wayne

Having grown up on a farm, Wayne knows a great deal about food and cooking. Here’s how Wanye cooks his steak:

  • 1″ thick top sirloin steak, 
  • Salt and pepper heavily
  • Grill at 400
  • Four minutes total
  • Flip each minute to get the good grill marks
  • Let sit for two minutes
  • Down the hatch

Letterkenny’s Wayne Views on Drinking and Smoking

Wanye from Letterkenny and Dary sitting at the bar probably making a funny quote

The residents of Letterkenny, including our main man Wayne, enjoy a good pint and a dart (cigarette), adding a layer of authenticity to their rural representation. Whether it’s raising a toast at Modeans (the local bar,) sharing a Puppers (the official beer of Letterkenny) with friends, or lighting up a smoke during a casual conversation, throughout the series, their attitudes towards drinking and smoking are expressed in memorable lines and hilarious quotes. 

“I don’t know why we’re not at Modean’s having a Gus n Brew right now??”

“A smoke and a beer go together like a piss and a fart.”

“People should only get hammered together so that you never have to see how obnoxious your friends actually are.”

“The bottom inch of a beer bottle is 50% spit.”

“Your friend says his sled’s got so much torque he can’t keep the front end down… K bud, if you wanna blow smoke, go have a dart.”

The Best Insults From Wayne

What kind of “Letterkenny Best Quote List” would this be without some insults? Letterkenny is not a place for anyone with thin skin; you gotta be mentally tough and be able to dish out the insults as fast as they come at ya! The characters of Letterkenny may be lovable, but they’re pretty ruthless when it comes to chirps and insults. Here are some of Wayne’s best put-downs.

“I see the muscle shirt came today. Muscles coming tomorrow?” Never one to miss an opportunity to call out pretentiousness, Wayne often uses his quick wit and unique brand of humor to bring those with inflated egos down to size.

“Just take about 20% off over there guy.”

Dan asks, ” Why don’ts yous guys wears belts?” Wayne answers, ” Because I buy pants that f**king fit.”

“Wish you weren’t so f**king awkward bud.”

“Figure it out!”

“Here’s a poem. Starlight, star bright, why the f*ck you got earrings on? Bet your lobes ain’t the only thing that got a hole punched in ’em.”

“The stupidest thing I ever heard in my life is that a baby is smart.”

“You’re made of spare parts, aren’t you, bud?” One of Wayne’s catchphrases, this quote is a perfect example of his dry, sarcastic wit. Used to call out someone who isn’t making sense or behaving strangely, this quip has become iconic among fans.

Final Thoughts on Wayne from Letterkenny Quotes

Throughout the whirlwind journey of Letterkenny, Wayne’s character stands out as a beacon of rustic charm, sharp wit, and pragmatic wisdom. His memorable one-liners and quips, as highlighted in this “Best Wayne from Letterkenny Quotes” collection, underscore the show’s distinctive brand of humor and the depth of its leading character. Whether they’re about love, life, fighting, or just the eccentricities of rural living, Wayne’s quotes are an essential part of what makes Letterkenny such a beloved show.

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